Pleasure is Your Birthright!© - Part II

Pleasure is my birthright. This is a powerful affirmation, especially against the backdrop of theologies that focus on pain and suffering. I have long been told and I am of the mindset that if a captor has a captive’s mind, they have absolute power over the captive.

To claim pleasure as your birthright is to confront the status quo and business as usual. It is to stop casting blame and to accept responsibility. It is to put in action those things you want to do and it is to put forth effort to make your dreams come true.

It is to live worry free, without shame, guilt and anger. It is to not be paralyzed and not stay stagnant unless you choose to do so. That brings me to Greta's question, "What is a wife responsibility in creating pleasure with her husband?"

I believe that it is the wife’s responsibility to share in creating a loving, welcoming fruitful environment for growth and pleasure. She owes it to herself, her husband and her children to be happy and receive pleasure. She owes it to herself, husband and children to be healthy and fulfilled. If Mama "ain't" happy nobody's happy. That’s true for the husband as well.

Thus, it is the wife’s responsibility to be real with her husband. She should share her passions and desires and invite her husband to participate and share in them. She owes it to herself to be open and honest with her husband. It was such a relief when I found out that wives actually like sex. It was helpful when we attended our first Tantric seminar to hear Pala tell other women that “Good girls enjoy sex and that you were not a “bad” girl because you enjoyed this connection with your husband.” It was further encouraging, revealing and uplifting to hear Pala tell other woman that they were responsible for their own sexual pleasure and happiness. A burden was lifted off of my loins. I no longer felt that I had to be super stud.

A wife needs to be free to tell her husband what she wants, likes and want to try. As she opens up herself, the husband must be receptive. He must be willing to listen, speak and act in love and respect. In marriage, the sexual connection is “one” of the most powerful communication vehicles between husband and wife. It is an emotional, mental, spiritual and physical connection that should be honored and cherished. When shared in love, it can be nurturing, relaxing and exciting. It is to be seen as a joy and a privilege and not as a dreaded task.

In looking at sex in a Tantric point of view, lovemaking is a time for husband and wife to share in a life giving and co-creating activity. As one prepares for special events in one’s week, so should a husband and wife prepare for love-making. One should prepare for lovemaking, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Uninterrupted time should be set aside. No phone calls, faxes, texts, e-mails or any other distraction should be allowed during these sacred moments. This time should be set aside for mental, emotional, spiritual and physical pleasure. It is set aside for physical exploration and mutual enjoyment. It is a shared privilege and a shared responsibility. It is one of the many benefits of being married. It is the wife’s responsibility to participate and facilitate this sacred meeting.

Marriage is a partnership and so it behooves husband and wife to know their own and their spouse's needs. The strongest needs are emotional as Greta has pointed them out. Understanding one’s own and their spouse’s needs will open the door for a husband and wife to give and receive bountiful pleasure. A mutual desire to meet the needs of one’s spouse will help them both to honor and live out their marriage vows.

Taking responsibility for one's own happiness relieves the other of the burden of trying to make someone happy. A husband cannot make a wife happy. She has to take responsibility for her own happiness. Conversely, a husband has to be responsible for his own happiness. Together they have the responsibility of articulating their needs to each other and devising a plan to mutually meet those needs.

A husband and wife should respect and care for each other and want the other part of them self to achieve their goals and reach their fullest potential. They should be willing to work alongside the other and do what's necessary to help the other without anger, a sense of loss or subservience.

True love and partnership will require sacrifice from time to time. However in pursuing pleasure, a husband and wife can live in gratitude, grateful for each other and grateful for their love. They can be self-actualized and in doing so create an environment of mutual acceptance and respect. These are key attributes to pleasure and happiness. Most of these activities occur outside of the bedroom, however when partners know that their spouse has their back, it makes pleasure in the bedroom, much easier to share. They will have experienced and received pleasure, thus it is easier for them to give it. A major component of “Making love” is having the mindset to love. It is reciprocal; it is given and received.

Early on in our relationship, Greta and I began a competition of Love. We sought to prove who could demonstrate love the best. Thus we would surprise each other with various expressions of Love from note cards to flowers to phone calls, e-mails, texts and all sorts of small gifts which demonstrated our love and proved that we did not take each other for granted. These expressions continue to bring excitement, anticipation and pleasure to us both. They demonstrate care and nurture and meet several emotional needs and are precursors to love making. I would argue that they are in themselves acts of love.

The key to giving and receiving pleasure between a husband and wife is open and honest communication. To create a successful marriage, active participation is required from both the husband and wife. They must pray together, love together, work together, play together and thus live life together. As most marriage vows proclaim…... “Two become One.” When a husband and wife become One, all of life ebbs and flow are shared and celebrated. This makes pleasure and love.

A husband and wife must tell each other what they want. Together they must proclaim and agree that truly, “Pleasure is their mutual birthright!”

It is a lot of fun to journey through life with the one you love. You can make it an adventure rather than a chore. Greta and I have claimed it. I pray that you and your spouse will too. Pleasure is your birthright!

Yours truly

Rev. Dr. Gary A.

Pleasure is Your Birthright!©

Hello Sensuous Women and Men!!!

Things have been popping since I last talked to you. I can barely keep up. Opportunities to take Sensuous Seminars, L.L.C. to the next level are coming at us left and right. Thank you to those who continue to encourage us and see the need for our services to be shared with the world.

I completed my 2nd interview with Allana Pratt on Friday, October 2nd and I can say that it is hot! Allana was intent on talking about Pleasure being our birthright, so I gave her a few pointers in creating in marriage that is Sensuous, Sexy, Powerful and Whole. You can listen to this discussion at:

http://www.sexysoulfulandrich.com/10wk110/

For starters, we talked about the five (5) emotional needs of a husband and wife based on Dr. William Harley’s book, HIS NEEDS/HER NEEDS. Just in case you are not aware, they are as follows:

Women top (5) Emotional Needs:
Affection
Conversation
Honesty and openness
Financial support
Family commitment

Men (5) Emotional Needs:
Sexual fulfillment
Recreational companionship
An attractive spouse
Domestic Support
Admiration

One of the things we discussed was how the sexual connection is an emotional need for a husband and how this is comparable to the need for affection for a wife. I know what you are thinking…. I was somewhat confused and skeptical about this emotional need when I first heard it. However, I can say without a shadow of a doubt, the more you connect with your husband, the more closer you will become and the communication barriers that are between you will come down. Also, if I can be bold, if you are using this connection to manipulate your husband or connecting when you do not feel like it, you are selling yourself short. Your body is too sacred to be used this way. Do not disrespect yourself and your marriage this way…you will be left feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. As a Sensuous Woman, you deserve to be happy!

The bottom line…sex is an emotional need for your husband and an emotional need for a wife. We both want this connection…it just depend on how it is approached. The way a husband and wife view sex and its place in marriage need to be changed.

Speaking from a Tantric perspective, a husband and wife must be able to acknowledge the sacredness of sex and come to the understanding that the sexual connection is a spiritual connection that has the power to transform your love for each other. This simply means making space for your lover and helpmate to be them-selves and not trying to change them or make them into something that they are not. I am a firm believer that you cannot put a round peg in a square hole. It will not fit!

Sometimes in marriage, we hold ourselves hostage because we want our husband or wife to perform a certain way and if they do not behave the way that we want, we punish them by withholding our love on in this case, our sex.

The other thing that I thought was interesting was Allana’s discussion on the wife’s right to be sexually fulfilled. So many times we tolerate the sexual connection with our husband and over time may look at this connection as a chore. After all, we are all busy women and by the time we get to this love connection with our husband, we are all dead tired. In this instance, sex becomes a wifely duty, an obligation.

Believe me, I can relate. I felt that way for years! The sexual connection with my husband was on the bottom of my “to do” list. It was not a priority. However, the truth of the matter is that your husband cannot achieve sexual fulfillment unless you are sexually fulfilled. A wife does her husband no favors by sacrificing her body to his sexual advances. He can only feel sexually satisfied only when she joins him in the experience of lovemaking.

As women, we are often trained to believe that pleasure is bad. If we had thoughts of enjoying the sexual connection, then we were somehow labeled as a slut, whore or one that was promiscuous. The enjoyment of sex was denied to us. The other way that we have been trained is the way God interacts in our sexual connection with our husband. We have made the expression of love between a husband and wife a sinful, nasty and dirty act. This attitude keeps us from feeling loved, wanted and desired.

In Tantra, the body temple is to be taken care of, nurtured, respected and loved. As a husband and wife, we are to care for each other and this includes fulfilling and satisfying each other’s emotional needs. To receive pleasure, you have to be receptive to it. The shame and guilt that we carry within has to be released. A husband and wife must be willing to educate themselves on their body and communicate to each other what makes them feel good. This takes practice and it takes work.

In marriage, you are to learn from each other. It is your responsibility to share with your lover and helpmate what brings you pleasure and what makes you feel good. Without this discussion, you will never be fulfilled. This involves being open, honest and vulnerable without the fear of hurting each other’s feelings and injuring the other’s self esteem. The worst thing that we can do is give our husband or wife the impression that they are good lovers when they are not. This not only hurts us, it hurts our marriage and our need to be happy.

This week, share with your lover and helpmate what makes you feel good. Listen with a heart that is open to learning and receiving. Give them your undivided attention as they seek to share how you can make them feel loved, wanted and desired. Be understanding and compassionate to their needs.

The best way to start this conversation is “Honey, I want to talk to you about the way we make love. I like what we are doing so far, but I feel like there is something missing. I want to please you and I want to be pleased, can I share with you what makes me feel good?” This can be awkward at first. Move forward anyway. No one wants to believe that they are an inadequate lover. The key is to listen without judgment and respond in love.

Pleasure is your Birthright! You deserve to have a marriage that is sexually fulfilling and satisfying. Most of all, you deserve to be loved!!!

Take care and may God bless you as you co-create the marriage and life of your dreams!

With love and gratitude,

Sensuous Sexy Greta™

NOTE: Complementary article and video to this blog is at http://www.momlogic.com/2008/09/sexless_marriage_survey.php

Question of the Week: "What is a wife responsibility in creating pleasure with her husband?"

"Copyright 2008 Sensuous Sexy Greta™. All Rights reserved"

Honoring Your Good!...Part II©

Hello Sensuous Men and Women!!!

It’s great to be asked my thoughts, opinions, insight and experience. It is a blessing to be blessed and know that you are blessed. It is further a blessing to live blessed. For me and Greta that is living our mantra; We Are Love, Peace, Happy, Prosperous, Abundant and Joy. We are… the words that follow are so powerful, illuminating and grounding. We Are ONE!!!

These words that compose our mantra are more than mere words. They are the trees of life. They provide grounding, support and assurance. They are spring boards to our being and our present state of mind. The best person to remind you of who you are and what you are about is you, yourself, in our case it is Gary A. and Greta.

On a daily basis, we remind ourselves of who we are and what we are about. We use this power at our disposal. Some days we are better at it than others. In recognizing and claiming our power we recognize the breath of life that God has breathed into us. We recognize the part of each other that is made in God’s image. We recognize each other’s souls and we tap into eternity as we begin to live as the god and goddess that God made us.

As we do so, we truly experience peace, love and joy. We rise above the hustle and bustle of life that wants to claim so much of our attention, time and energy. We live within the presence of God and thus we treat each other with love, dignity and respect. In doing so, I am treated as a god and I treat Greta like a goddess. It is wonderful to be cherished honored and treated well by the one I love. It’s wonderful to be valued.

My opinion is not only sought out it is acknowledged and taken into consideration. I am made to feel that I matter. This feeling helps me to live and not merely exist. It is so drab and unfulfilling to merely exist, to go through the motions, doing repetitious things day in and day out, not feeling whole rather feeling like a machine.

Being a god let’s me know that I have the ability to create and to first create on a spiritual realm. This creation helps me on a physical, emotional and heart level. This creation helps me to treat Greta with the love and respect she deserves and desires. It helps me to be open and honest with her and share my goals, dreams, thoughts and experiences without fear. I do not fear that she will judge me or hold anything I say against me. I believe and know that what I have to say and who I am is respected and valued by Greta. I am accepted, just as I am. She acknowledges that I am becoming.

I am reminded of the reality that I live each time I gaze into Greta’s eyes. Truly the eyes are the gateway to the soul and I can peer into her soul and join her spiritually as she and I gaze into each other eyes and share breath. Yes, Yes, Yes, this is a beautiful occurrence, and it just gets better with time. As it does, I am more fulfilled. I am stronger for Greta and I are on the same page. We are journeying together and we are becoming ONE. We are making our special relationship more special. We are not taking each other’s love and support for granted. We cherish it. We nurture it, we grow it. Our biggest tool is communication. We talk, talk and talk as we listen, listen and listen. As we do so, we learn more about each other and we learn more about ourselves as a husband and wife and a working unit.

We know that we were put together for a purpose. We know our purpose is to heal marriages. We first had to start with our own. To do so we had to rid ourselves of lots and lots of baggage and misconceptions. We had to come to know what we believe and why. We had to be willing to discard teachings and learning that didn’t work for us (we had to clean out our spiritual and emotional closets).

In growing my soul, I have to come face to face with my own chauvinism and machismo training and tendencies. I had to develop my sensitive side. I grew up in a household with six (6) other males, five (5) older brothers and my father. There was a lot of testerone and competition. There was a lot of fighting for space and acknowledgement on my part. I had to remind my older siblings that I was more than someone who needed direction. In my relationship with Greta; I had to come to respect Greta differently. I had to come to know that she had thoughts, ideas and abilities equal and in some cases superior to my own. I had to come to understand that wife and helpmate means helpmate and teammate. I had to come to know that she is not the weaker sex!

I had to come to learn to share the responsibility of our marriage and understand that it was not all up to me and that I did not need to control everything and make everything work. I had to come to an expanded version of “being the man.” I had to come to understand the true meaning of partnership. Believe me this didn’t happen overnight.

In coming into this understanding, my concept of god/goddess expanded. For me, it makes sense that we are souls having a human experience. It makes sense that souls like energy is neither created nor destroyed. It makes sense that God resides within us and that we need to develop our spirit and ourselves to be in deeper relationship with God. There is so much contained within my consciousness that it is bourgeoning to get out. In some ways this understanding gave me permission to focus on me and not so much others and definitely not Greta.

I need to know me better so that I can give Greta me. I need to know my strengths and weaknesses, my pains, pleasures, desires and wants, my yearning and those things that engage and compel me, so that I can share them with my wife and soul mate. To do so, makes me strong and not weak. It allows me to live freely in MY power. It allows me to be loving and encouraging. It allows me to give Greta the space she needs to grow and blossom. I need not control her. I need only to love and empower her. In doing so, I do it unto myself.

What is good for her is good for me and so as I develop so does she. As you go through the rest of your week, I offer the following affirmations to help you in developing yourself for further intimacy with your lover and helpmate.

In loving (your lovers’ name), I love me.
In respecting (your lovers’ name), I respect me.
In freeing (your lovers’ name), I free me.
In empowering (your lovers’ name), I empower me.

Peace be unto you…as you co-create the marriage and life of your dreams!

-Gary A.

"Copyright 2008 Sensuous Sexy Greta™. All Rights reserved"

Honoring Your Good!©

Hello Sensuous Women and Men!!!

I hope that you had a week of prosperity and bliss with your lover and helpmate. Do not forget to tell each other how much you love each other. This should be a daily practice and mentioned several times throughout the day. I know that I appreciate hearing these words from Gary throughout the day. It helps to fuel my soul. For us, saying “I love you” is a time when we stop and give each other our undivided attention…as we look deeply into each other eyes. This act of connection can last a mere sixty (60) seconds and is limitless which means, that you can practice it as much as you want, any time of the day. Personally, I do not think you can utter the words, “I love you” to the one that you are with, enough. To make this connection even better, end with a long embrace. In other words, hug each other. If you are doing this already, I applaud you. If not, I challenge you to implement this practice in your daily interaction for the next ten (10) days. Make it a game. I am sure you will leave each other feeling good and not to mention "LOVED UP!!!"

As usual, I would like to express gratitude to those who took the time out of their busy schedules and listened to the telecast interview with Allana Pratt and myself. I have gotten back some interesting and enlightening feedback. In our conversations and email correspondence, I have heard words like "Touching, Fantastic, Powerful, or statements like ...Your story moved me; I have felt and feel the same way; I have never thought to pray before or during lovemaking and one that I found to be most interesting, You sound professional." Not sure what that means…however, I will embrace it.

If you have not heard the telecast interview, it is still available for you to listen at http://tinyurl.com/GretaRecommends. If you feel compelled, register for the LIVE Webcast Telesummit; I am sure that you will be empowered by the wisdom and stories of these powerful accomplished women.

Also, I want to make sure that I give a shout out to Gail Sinclair, a wonderful and delightful goddess that I met two (2) years ago at the MEGA Book Marketing University in Los Angeles for making this opportunity possible. You know that I love you girl and I cannot wait to see you again. I look forward to working with you as we open the minds and hearts of women/men on the emotional, spiritual and sexual transformation and healing powers of Sacred Pole Dancing. All I can say is, "YOU ROCK!!!!" I am so grateful that God placed you in my space.

So that you understand why I refer to my "Sensuous Friend" as a "goddess," it is very simple. In Tantra, the word “god” and “goddess” refer to treating yourself and others with respect and honor while acknowledging their good. It is a woman who is tune with her feminine/sexual power or her female self. As I see it, a "goddess" is a woman who is at peace emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually and is comfortable with herself physically. There is no shame about her body or how she chooses to express herself as a woman, wife, lover and helpmate.

In other words, she is in ALIGNMENT or in harmony with herself emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually. She is ONE with herself and God and has rid herself of all jealousy, envy, hatred, distrust, division and separation and embraces Good for herself and others. She can see beyond the petty differences and do not concern herself with the color of a person’s skin, sexual orientation, nationality, religion, professional status, educational level, age, gender, height, weight, body type, past and current behavior, past and current decisions, or anything else that would allow her to exhibit prejudice or find fault with another person. In so doing, she can love, honor and respect other women and men regardless of their path, life experiences or personal beliefs. In the eyes and heart of a "goddess," every person has value or worth.

I believe that every woman is a "goddess" whether or not she embraces that is up to her. We all have the capacity to be a provider, protector, lover, healer, nurturing mother, loving and nurturing wife, seducer, hunter, wild, adventurous, romantic, passionate and depending on the situation, strong and forceful. It is this feminine power that I recognize, embrace and honor in myself and other women.

In addition, I believe that every male is a "god" and that he should be honored and respected for his masculine/sexual power and how he chooses to express himself as a man. For me, a "god" embodies the same characteristics of a goddess; he is a provider, protector, lover healer, hunter, strong, forceful, nurturing father, loving and nurturing husband, romantic, passionate, seducer and a healer. He is emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually in tune with himself and is not afraid to surrender to his goodness. He is in ALIGNMENT or at peace and ONE with himself and God and has rid himself of all jealousy, envy, hatred, distrust, division and separation and embraces the Good for himself and others. In essence, a "god" is simply the mirror reflection of his "goddess.” They complement each other in love and are equal partners.

In the spiritual practice of Tantra, these are the characteristics or "god like" qualities in each other that we worship as a husband and wife. These are things that we admire and appreciate in each other. These are the attributes or strengths that we uplift and embrace. Please note: worship does not mean that a wife follows her husband blindly and vice versa or that one in the marriage has control or power over the other. It simply means that the husband and wife serve each other equally and enthusiastically from the highest state of their personal power and with mutual respect. For Gary and I, worship simply means that we honor and accept the good in each other while appreciating and respecting the way we were created as a male and female. No gender is better than the other. The key in our marriage is to help each other reach their fullest potential. It is this realization that makes the husband and wife a powerful force and it is from this space that they become ONE.

This week, look for the god/goddess (good) in yourself and each other. If you cannot see the good in yourself, you will not be able to see the good in your husband or wife and not to mention other people. Make a list of all the things you like (love) about yourself. Attempt to look beyond your perceived flaws. Give yourself some compassion.

This love creation exercise will lead you to a path of self-discovery and help you define who you are and the kind of person that you want to cultivate or manifest in your marriage and life. Start your list with the powerful affirmative statement of "I AM." For example:

I AM woman that has a prosperous mindset and an entrepreneurial spirit.
I AM a woman that is self-assured and believes in the impossible.
I AM a woman who has a heart and respect for herself, God and her husband.
I AM a woman with a sense of humor; the ability to laugh is important to me.
I AM a woman with a sense of adventure; I am not afraid to explore and expand.
I AM a woman who has an expansive intellect with a spirit of continuous learning.
I AM a woman who is Sensuous, Sexy, Powerful, Complete and whole!

These are some of the attributes or qualities that I see in myself and the ones that I nurture and develop on a continuous basis. I am certain that your "I AM" will be different for you. Embrace your uniqueness. Have fun with this exercise and do not rush through it. Give it some thought. Go inward and meditate on what you want to create, how you want to express yourself, who you wish to become and write it down. Let your heart speak to you. Your "I AM" is a roadmap to your success.

Finally, Gary A. as I affectionately call him will be sharing his perspective and insights with you on Wednesdays. I am anxious to read and discover how he has incorporated the concept of "god and goddess" into his life, our marriage and how this practice of seeing me as his "goddess" and me worshipping and honoring him as my "god" has made him a better husband, lover, helpmate and friend.

Take care and may God continue to bless you as you co-create the marriage and life of your dreams!

All good things,

Sensuous Sexy Greta™

"Copyright 2008 Sensuous Sexy Greta™. All Rights reserved"

Be Happy!!!©

Hello Sensuous Women and Men!!!!

Yes, it is true that I have a passion for marriage and want everyone to be successfully happy in it. Why wouldn’t I? After all, I am a “Married Woman” and I know how tough it can be to maintain, grow and develop the love and intimacy that you want with your husband and wife. In my heart, I believe that everyone deserves and is entitled to happiness and that two (2) people who make a commitment to each other should find ways to communicate their love and grow it.

Before I go any further, I want to congratulate those courageous souls who took the twenty-one (21) day challenge presented to them in my blog posted in December. I know it's August, but what can I say...I had to handle a few things. I must admit, I did miss blogging you. In speaking with some of you, the decision to take control of your thoughts, feelings and actions appeared to be a little challenging. However, I want you to know that if you found yourself regressing back to your old behavior, do not despair, change does not come over night. It takes practice not to be judgmental, critical, complain and make disparaging remarks about yourself and your lover. I know that I had fun with this exercise and can honestly report that I did very well.

The purpose of the exercise is to take a look at what you are doing, what you are saying, how you are behaving and responding, how you are living and not your lover and helpmate. Personally, managing my own behavior and response to a situation or person has made my life easier, not to mention more peaceful. On a personal note, I do not believe in taking on someone else’s pain or their unhappiness. It is not my burden to bear. It is theirs. I cannot change someone’s mind or control what they say or do. How they choose to interact with life is their decision.

In addition, I hope since we last spoke that you have been diligently practicing and implementing the love creation and development skills that I have shared with you over the last year. It will not do you any good to read the information that is provided and do nothing with it. Love is a learned behavior. You cannot make your marriage better if you do not create and make love (I will talk about this later in another blog).

Finally, I want to express my gratitude and appreciation to my husband Gary A. On May 4th, we celebrated our twenty-fourth (24th) wedding anniversary. His love, devotion and dedication to our marriage and me are both overwhelming and humbling. There is nothing more wonderful than building a strong foundation with the man of your dreams. Kudos to you honey for being a man of faith, integrity and courage! Thank you for trusting me with your heart and soul. I am honored that you chose me to be your bride and to spend your life with me. It has truly been an amazing ride! Thank you for being my rock, inspiration and a contributor to my happiness. I could not do Greta without you.

It is wonderful to wake up after twenty-six (26) years of building love together and see that Gary and I are still smiling. In January 2009, we made a conscious decision that we would laugh more together and that is something that we accomplish everyday. It is how we operate, regardless.

As I write this blog today, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that, “I AM THE HAPPIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD!!!” This is the reality that I started creating for myself in 1999. For me, as a spiritual practice and discipline, happiness is by far the highest achievement that one can attain and getting here is no joke. It takes years of conscious healing work to reach this kind of alignment. However, if I can do it, anyone can. It just takes persistence, patience, determination, belief, faith and trust in yourself and God. Oh yeah, you have to know that you deserve it. It is by far the best decision that I made for myself along with the spiritual practice of Gratitude. For me, these two spiritual disciplines go hand in hand.

By the way, I use “happiness” as a non-discriminatory achievement. Happiness does not discriminate. It is available to everyone. It starts within and has to be nurtured and developed in the heart. The process is internal. It helps you to go through any situation with a feeling of peace, joy, gratitude, faith and courage. It helps you take responsibility for your life and make the right decision for yourself. It does not depend on what others think happiness should be or look like for you. It is the decision to live your life authentically with meaning and purpose.

In our journey to become ONE, Gary and I have met so many unhappy married couples who see separation as an option….some have already made the decision to separate. If they are staying together, it is usually because out of necessity or with a sense of obligation. Most people are just going through the motions and have settled for a marriage that lacks the essence of true love. Please know that I am well aware of how it feels to be unhappy with someone you love and to whom you committed your life. For the first fifteen (15)years of my marriage, I would experience happiness that was short-lived. It is not easy maintaining a façade of happiness when you are feeling sad, defeated and discouraged about yourself, life and marriage. Unhappiness has a way of diminishing your heart, mind, body and spirit. It can be the most devastating feeling in the world and is a terrible way to exist. It keeps you from seeing the good and tears down your self-esteem. It makes you feel inadequate and less than; empty and incomplete.

As much as I understand the feelings of unhappiness, I know for certain that it has nothing to do with the person to whom you have committed your life. In search for my own happiness, I had to come to realization that Gary could not make me happy; he contributes to my happiness. I had to make the choice to be happy and do the necessary emotional and spiritual work to get here. I had to figure out the things that brought me joy and laughter. I could not hold him accountable and punish him for the feelings of sadness and grief that I had inside of me. The same is true for him; he is responsible for his own happiness and I am a contributor to it. Keep in mind that love is a process of exploration and discovery.

Knowing that we are contributors to each other’s happiness has lifted a burden off both of our shoulders. We can be free to explore our feelings and emotions with each other and know that we are not going to be judged. The intent is to listen to each other and be creative in bringing joy and laughter that is sometimes needed to lift you and your lover and helpmate’s spirit. The key is to remember why you got married in the first place and work on cultivating and expanding that love.

Speaking of being happy, I have attached a link to the telecast interview with Allana Pratt on Thursday, August 13th. I hope you find it enlightening and encouraging as you seek to grow your love and marriage into ONEness. You can check it out at:

http://tinyurl.com/GretaRecommends.

If you have questions about what you hear, call me. I would be more than happy to talk to you. Thank you Allana, for the opportunity to share myself. I appreciate it.

Finally, I want to welcome my husband, lover and helpmate, Sexy Gary A.™ (this is how I see and experience him) to Greta’s Sensuous Talks™. In marriage, there are two (2) perspectives and insights. So far, you have only heard from me and how the spiritual practice of Tantra has changed my marriage and life. I want to make sure his voice is heard. I am anxiously awaiting to read his insight and how he discovered and connected to his inner-spirit along with the methods, processes and practices he used to do it.

Perspective from Sexy Gary A.™
In journeying with Greta, I have witnessed and experienced with her many things. As she committed to heal herself, she enabled me to do likewise, whether I thought of it consciously or not. One of the realities I knew, was that for our marriage to work required that we grow together.

One of the many strengths that Greta and I have is our love and desire to grow. Thus as she read, grew, struggled and cried, so did I. What a relief I felt when we discovered that I was not responsible for Greta’s happiness!!!

Yet as a husband I cannot share happiness with Greta if I myself am not happy. Further, if I am not happy, I will not be able to receive the joy and happiness that Greta presents to me and vice versa. So as Greta’s lover, husband and helpmate, I owe it to her and myself to address any spiritual, emotional or mental issues or concerns I may have. I need to receive Greta for Greta as she needs to receive Gary for Gary. This practice became a watershed moment in our marriage and it helped me to experience the divine in Greta and the divine in myself.

As a result, I began to understand scripture differently and I began to understand and experience Greta as my helpmate. I began to understand that my relationship with Greta should mirror my relationship with God. The principles which I teach and preach had to be realized in my covenant with my wife.

Greta as my wife is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She is a part of me and as I realized this I had to let go of the hurts, disappointments and anger. Talking and sharing our heart became a foundational practice that gradually change the tone and tenor of our communication. We started communicating, one of us spoke and the other listened, understood and responded. This created a safe environment wherein both of us knew we could speak our heart.

This, challenged me to go within and learn how to communicate with myself and open up my heart to myself and then I began to share the discoveries of my heart with Greta. Yes, I began to trust my heart to my wife. I gained the understanding that I need to conduct myself in a manner that allowed Greta to share her heart with me and vice versa. We are equal souls existing and interacting as ONE and we must both build and share trust among each other.

This takes Faith, Belief, Trust and Love. For me, my knowledge that Greta loves God helps me to place Faith, Belief, Trust and Love in her and my marriage. Her spirituality compliments mine and allows us to connect on a deeper level and higher plane.
______________

Well, there you have it….short and sweet. In other words, take responsibility for your happiness and go after your bliss. You deserve it.

Take care and have a week filled with love. May God continue to bless you as you co-create the marriage and life of your dreams!

All in Happiness,

Sensuous Sexy Greta™ & Sexy Gary A.™

"Copyright 2008 Sensuous Sexy Greta™. All Rights reserved"

Playing like Lovers©

Hello Sensuous Women and Men!

I hope this holiday season find you in good spirits as you are basking in the glow of love. Gary and I are continuing to enjoy being “empty nesters” as we prepare for the upcoming year and get ready for the new opportunities and possibilities that are coming our way. This is the time of the year when we do two things: Take our Play to a new level and enter into a state of self-reflection and examination. “Out with the old and in with the "New” becomes our mantra as we seek to cleanse ourselves emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially while looking for areas to grow and discover. One thing that I know for sure is, "IT IS TIME FOR A CHANGE!!!!" As a husband and wife, we know from experience that “we” cannot continue to do the same old thing, act the same old way, speak the same old way and expect different results. We have to be willing to be transformed to walk in the Newness of our ONEness.

I want to take a moment and holla at my “Sensuous Sexy Lovers” who took the time out of their busy schedule to support us at our first Sensuous Event, “The Art of Sensuous Play©.” In addition, I want to thank “Lover’s Lane, Golden Reign, Well Suited Fashions, KnotAboutMe, Graham’s Printing,Inc., Twist Fitness Studio, Smooth Productions, Cost Plus Wine Shoppe, Vivio's Food and Spirits and O.H. Pye, III Funeral Home,” for sponsoring us, we could not have pulled off a successful event without your presence and support. May God bless you during this holiday season and beyond.

As for you “Sensuous Husband and Wives” who transformed yourselves into “Sensuous Sexy Lovers” that night, I only have one thing to say and one thing only…Y’ALL are so fast!!! For the record, I am talking about both genders; male and female; man and woman; husband and wife; lover and helpmate. You guys were acting like “Equal Opportunity Lovers,” feeding each other; singing to each other, staring in each other’s eyes as if you were seeing your lover for the very first time. Y’all must really love each other, that’s wonderful! In fact, it is beautiful. Gary and I laugh with joy every time we think about it. Do not forget to implement the “Love Creation Strategies” outlined in your “Love Development Plan©.” When used on a regular basis, you will see some wonderful results in your love connection and communication.

It takes a lot of courage to come to our events, you never know what to expect. We plan it that way. We want to make sure that when you leave our event that you have a different perspective and insight on God, sex, your love and marriage. Our intent is to give you something to laugh about and help you create a new way of bringing excitement into your life. Play makes that possible.

During the holiday season, when a husband and wife take their play to a new level, it helps them to remain focused on their love and not get caught up in living out “other” people’s dreams and desires. Gary and I find the "Art of Play" a necessary ingredient of love so that we do not take ourselves and others so serious. This time of the year can be a time of stress; thus humor is needed to ward off the feelings of inadequacy and sadness that we sometimes get during the holiday season. Play is used to eradicate some of those feelings and give each other the needed support of intimacy and laughter. It has a way of putting things in perspective and keeping the marriage light hearted. It brings a sense of harmony and balance to love and life.

On a much different note, I would like to address the issue of change and how important it is in the process of love creation and development, particularly during this time of the year. For me, change is probably the one area of growth and development that I find exhilarating and exciting. I love change. It is the one element of my life that I constantly embrace, for it is inevitable. Change gives me hope. It gives me the power and the opportunity to create something new, different and better for myself. Change has helped me to transform and not be afraid of the unknown. It has given me the power to step outside of my comfort zone and create the kind of happiness that I envisioned for myself and my lover.

In preparation for change this year and to greet the New Year with a renewed mind, heart, body and spirit, I have decided to implement some of the practices that I have found valuable in Edwene Gaines book, “The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity.” This book found its way into my space as I was looking for something that would help me release the residual baggage that I accumulated over the past year that has kept me from reaching my full potential as a wife and business woman. In addition, I want to make sure that I am being true and honest with myself as I live and work in my integrity and authenticity.

Although I am avid goal setter and have utilized a lot of the spiritual practices Edwene Gaines describe in my own self development, I found her perspective on setting goals quite insightful. In her book, she issues her readers a twenty-one (21) day challenge to improve themselves and so I want to share and invite you to participate in the same.

This process has the potential to help you live out and practice (2) biblical principles that are found in Psalms 19:14 and Philippians 4:8. It will help you create a spirit of prosperity and a compassionate heart. In addition, it will help you get rid of that negative self talk that we can find ourselves participating in and/or creating. I know that it has caused me to take a more active look at my thoughts, words, actions and deeds.

For me, the twenty-one (21) day challenge is a “Character Building” tool. It speaks to the kind of person you are and the heart that you are developing (i.e. complainer, gossiper, backbiter, liar, hater, mean-spirited, honest, integrity, trustworthy, loving, kind, generous, etc). It helps you to see or become aware of what you are creating in your life and marriage and make the necessary changes.

To help you get started, I suggest that you write down the following statements and follow them for the next twenty-one (21) days:

• I will not gossip or spread rumors about anyone for the next twenty-one (21) days.

• I will not complain about my situation and the unhappiness that dwells within it for the next twenty-one (21) days.

•I will not criticize or talk bad about the actions or behaviors of others for the next twenty-one (21) days.

•I will not allow any negative talk to fall from my mouth for the next twenty-one (21)days.

***For the next twenty-one (21) days, I will examine my thoughts, my behavior, my actions, my words and my deeds.***

To help me practice this process and get centered, I will be doing two things: Meditating on Psalms 19:14; Philippians 4:8 and using the following affirmation. “Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world." The biblical principles will be used to help me plant the seeds that I will need to change my mindset and initiate the process of self-examination. The affirmation will help me connect to my power source. You are going to need your power to complete this challenge.

Please be mindful that this is how I will be doing this practice. Feel free to incorporate the tools of your faith to help you complete this twenty-one (21) day challenge.

If you have not started journaling, I suggest that you start. Write down the kind of person that you want to be and the kind of life that you want to create. Be specific. Dare to take a peek at all areas of your life and be honest with yourself. Write it down. Ask yourself, “is my unhappiness causing me pain? Is it keeping me from reaching my full potential? Is there anything that I can do different that will cause me happiness? Track your progress. If you slip during the twenty-one (21) days, forgive yourself and start over. It takes practice to think positive. Hang in there, don't give up and have fun with this. Obtaining happiness is a process. It takes time.

Since I use the month of December to reflect and renew my spirit, I will not be blogging again until January. However, I want to make sure that I wish you and your lover a wonderful and prosperous holiday season and a New Year that is filled with all the love and happiness that you can stand.

Also, Edwene Gaines book can be found on our website in Greta’s Sensuous Boutique in our bookstore in our literary section entitled ‘Spiritual Practices.' If you have not browsed the bookstore, I suggest that you do.

Thanks again for your prayers and support, I do appreciate it. May God continue to give you the joy and the love that you deserve as you co-create the marriage and life of your dreams.

In love and gratitude,

Sensuous Sexy Greta™

"Copyright 2008 Sensuous Sexy Greta™. All Rights reserved"

It's Play Time!©

Hello Sensuous Women and Men!!!

Is it a beautiful day or what? I am so excited about Friday,November 21st, I can hardly sit still. I am looking forward to having some fun, not to mention laughter. Kudos to those who have made the decision to take your love to a new level and join Gary and I as we kick off our first "Sensuous Event." You are in for a treat. You know that I believe in treating my “Sensuous Friends” well. It is ON and POPPING as we get prepared to rock Vivios. I hope you are ready to shake your tail feather and get your groove on in Gratitude,for we have much to celebrate!

Also, please make sure you dress the part. Please do not come to my event looking like “Church Woman of the Year” this is a “Sensuous Event” and you are a “Sensuous Woman” so I expect for you to represent. For those that I have spoken to, I have asked that you dress in something that is "Tastefully Sensuous and Sexy" and that reflect the woman that you are on the inside. I cannot tell you what that look like. You have to decide for yourself what makes you feel good, vibrant and confident.

Keep in mind that this is a costume party so if you want to be daring, by all means be daring; however you do not have to wear a costume in the traditional sense. We will be giving out masks that will compliment your "Sensuous Attire" and help you get in the mood for fun.

To give you an idea of how to dress for this event and to help you get out of your comfort zone, I will be wearing a red halter dress with red boots and my mask. I intend on looking hot for Gary that night and red is my feel good color. As it relates to fashion, I like the classy conservative sexy look; nothing too revealing but something that accentuates my woman curves and is form fitting. However, be mindful that this is me. This is how I intend to represent. I want you to feel free to DO YOU.

Also, to the "Sensuous Men" that are reading this blog and who are planning on bringing their wives, please leave the suit and tie at home. I need for you to dress casual, hip and current. To give you an idea of the “Sensuous Man” attire, Gary will be wearing a red jacket, an embroidered white shirt, blue jeans and his mask. This will be the first time that I have seen him dress in this manner in years, so it will be a treat for me. I cannot wait to see him in his sexiness!

I want to personally thank Lover’s Lane and their Marketing Specialist, Eric Gorde for agreeing to be one of our “Sensuous Sponsors" for “The Need for a Love Connection©” portion of the event. They have been so gracious to provide us with some “Intimacy and Passion Creation” products by SHUNGA Erotic Art. The lucky lovers of this wonderful giveaway will receive the Tenderness & Passion Collection featuring Strawberries and Champagne. In this collection, the lovers will be able to create intimacy while blessing and honoring each others body temple with “Intimate Kisses” Aphrodisiac Oil; "Erotic Massage" Oil; "Sweet Snow" Baby Powder and a Hand made Feather Tickler.

In addition, we will also be giving away the Carnel Pleasure Collection which consists of “Soft Moves” Massage Cream; "Intimate Kisses" Aphrodisiac Oil; "Sweet Snow" Edible Body Powder with feather; "Erotic Massage" Oil and a "Sensation Balm" that will help you and your lover experience new ways of passion and excitement. These are wonderful “Intimacy Creation’ products to have in your “Love Chest” and we are happy to get you started. We will talk more about the use of these products in our upcoming “Blessing Your Lover©” series, so stay tuned. In the meantime, you can check out our "Sensuous Sponsor" at www.loverslane.com or at one of their ten (10)locations in the Metro Detroit area. Make sure to let them know that Sensuous Seminars sent you.

For now and to help those that are preparing themselves for “The Art of Sensuous Play©,” I want to encourage you and lover to take some time out of your busy schedule to sit still and hold each other for twenty (20) minutes for the next few days. Making the decision to try something new in your marriage can be scary, not to mention intimidating. Holding each other and talking about the love that you are about to create and the good time you are going to have less stressful and scary. Make sure to get rid of any expectations. This is just an opportunity to open your heart and allow the love that already exists between you as a husband and wife to get better and expand.

In your time alone, think and meditate on Gratitude. I want you to think of all the ways you and lover show love to each other. Take note on how far you have come in your love and marriage. Notice the opportunities for growth that you have encountered and the way that God has blessed you and your lover in each situation. Start a “Gratitude Journal” that chronicles the love and growth that you have experienced this year alone. Don’t leave anything out. Every experience has a way of pushing us into new and wonderful territories and is an opportunity to be blessed in our love. We have come this far by Faith.

Take care and I look forward to seeing you on Friday, November 21st. Make sure to call or email me if you have questions about the event. My contact info is on my website.

May God continue to give you the desires of your heart as you seek to co-create the life and marriage of your dreams!

In love and gratitude,

Sensuous Sexy Greta™


"Copyright 2008 Sensuous Sexy Greta™. All Rights reserved"