Be Happy!!!©

Hello Sensuous Women and Men!!!!

Yes, it is true that I have a passion for marriage and want everyone to be successfully happy in it. Why wouldn’t I? After all, I am a “Married Woman” and I know how tough it can be to maintain, grow and develop the love and intimacy that you want with your husband and wife. In my heart, I believe that everyone deserves and is entitled to happiness and that two (2) people who make a commitment to each other should find ways to communicate their love and grow it.

Before I go any further, I want to congratulate those courageous souls who took the twenty-one (21) day challenge presented to them in my blog posted in December. I know it's August, but what can I say...I had to handle a few things. I must admit, I did miss blogging you. In speaking with some of you, the decision to take control of your thoughts, feelings and actions appeared to be a little challenging. However, I want you to know that if you found yourself regressing back to your old behavior, do not despair, change does not come over night. It takes practice not to be judgmental, critical, complain and make disparaging remarks about yourself and your lover. I know that I had fun with this exercise and can honestly report that I did very well.

The purpose of the exercise is to take a look at what you are doing, what you are saying, how you are behaving and responding, how you are living and not your lover and helpmate. Personally, managing my own behavior and response to a situation or person has made my life easier, not to mention more peaceful. On a personal note, I do not believe in taking on someone else’s pain or their unhappiness. It is not my burden to bear. It is theirs. I cannot change someone’s mind or control what they say or do. How they choose to interact with life is their decision.

In addition, I hope since we last spoke that you have been diligently practicing and implementing the love creation and development skills that I have shared with you over the last year. It will not do you any good to read the information that is provided and do nothing with it. Love is a learned behavior. You cannot make your marriage better if you do not create and make love (I will talk about this later in another blog).

Finally, I want to express my gratitude and appreciation to my husband Gary A. On May 4th, we celebrated our twenty-fourth (24th) wedding anniversary. His love, devotion and dedication to our marriage and me are both overwhelming and humbling. There is nothing more wonderful than building a strong foundation with the man of your dreams. Kudos to you honey for being a man of faith, integrity and courage! Thank you for trusting me with your heart and soul. I am honored that you chose me to be your bride and to spend your life with me. It has truly been an amazing ride! Thank you for being my rock, inspiration and a contributor to my happiness. I could not do Greta without you.

It is wonderful to wake up after twenty-six (26) years of building love together and see that Gary and I are still smiling. In January 2009, we made a conscious decision that we would laugh more together and that is something that we accomplish everyday. It is how we operate, regardless.

As I write this blog today, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that, “I AM THE HAPPIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD!!!” This is the reality that I started creating for myself in 1999. For me, as a spiritual practice and discipline, happiness is by far the highest achievement that one can attain and getting here is no joke. It takes years of conscious healing work to reach this kind of alignment. However, if I can do it, anyone can. It just takes persistence, patience, determination, belief, faith and trust in yourself and God. Oh yeah, you have to know that you deserve it. It is by far the best decision that I made for myself along with the spiritual practice of Gratitude. For me, these two spiritual disciplines go hand in hand.

By the way, I use “happiness” as a non-discriminatory achievement. Happiness does not discriminate. It is available to everyone. It starts within and has to be nurtured and developed in the heart. The process is internal. It helps you to go through any situation with a feeling of peace, joy, gratitude, faith and courage. It helps you take responsibility for your life and make the right decision for yourself. It does not depend on what others think happiness should be or look like for you. It is the decision to live your life authentically with meaning and purpose.

In our journey to become ONE, Gary and I have met so many unhappy married couples who see separation as an option….some have already made the decision to separate. If they are staying together, it is usually because out of necessity or with a sense of obligation. Most people are just going through the motions and have settled for a marriage that lacks the essence of true love. Please know that I am well aware of how it feels to be unhappy with someone you love and to whom you committed your life. For the first fifteen (15)years of my marriage, I would experience happiness that was short-lived. It is not easy maintaining a façade of happiness when you are feeling sad, defeated and discouraged about yourself, life and marriage. Unhappiness has a way of diminishing your heart, mind, body and spirit. It can be the most devastating feeling in the world and is a terrible way to exist. It keeps you from seeing the good and tears down your self-esteem. It makes you feel inadequate and less than; empty and incomplete.

As much as I understand the feelings of unhappiness, I know for certain that it has nothing to do with the person to whom you have committed your life. In search for my own happiness, I had to come to realization that Gary could not make me happy; he contributes to my happiness. I had to make the choice to be happy and do the necessary emotional and spiritual work to get here. I had to figure out the things that brought me joy and laughter. I could not hold him accountable and punish him for the feelings of sadness and grief that I had inside of me. The same is true for him; he is responsible for his own happiness and I am a contributor to it. Keep in mind that love is a process of exploration and discovery.

Knowing that we are contributors to each other’s happiness has lifted a burden off both of our shoulders. We can be free to explore our feelings and emotions with each other and know that we are not going to be judged. The intent is to listen to each other and be creative in bringing joy and laughter that is sometimes needed to lift you and your lover and helpmate’s spirit. The key is to remember why you got married in the first place and work on cultivating and expanding that love.

Speaking of being happy, I have attached a link to the telecast interview with Allana Pratt on Thursday, August 13th. I hope you find it enlightening and encouraging as you seek to grow your love and marriage into ONEness. You can check it out at:

http://tinyurl.com/GretaRecommends.

If you have questions about what you hear, call me. I would be more than happy to talk to you. Thank you Allana, for the opportunity to share myself. I appreciate it.

Finally, I want to welcome my husband, lover and helpmate, Sexy Gary A.™ (this is how I see and experience him) to Greta’s Sensuous Talks™. In marriage, there are two (2) perspectives and insights. So far, you have only heard from me and how the spiritual practice of Tantra has changed my marriage and life. I want to make sure his voice is heard. I am anxiously awaiting to read his insight and how he discovered and connected to his inner-spirit along with the methods, processes and practices he used to do it.

Perspective from Sexy Gary A.™
In journeying with Greta, I have witnessed and experienced with her many things. As she committed to heal herself, she enabled me to do likewise, whether I thought of it consciously or not. One of the realities I knew, was that for our marriage to work required that we grow together.

One of the many strengths that Greta and I have is our love and desire to grow. Thus as she read, grew, struggled and cried, so did I. What a relief I felt when we discovered that I was not responsible for Greta’s happiness!!!

Yet as a husband I cannot share happiness with Greta if I myself am not happy. Further, if I am not happy, I will not be able to receive the joy and happiness that Greta presents to me and vice versa. So as Greta’s lover, husband and helpmate, I owe it to her and myself to address any spiritual, emotional or mental issues or concerns I may have. I need to receive Greta for Greta as she needs to receive Gary for Gary. This practice became a watershed moment in our marriage and it helped me to experience the divine in Greta and the divine in myself.

As a result, I began to understand scripture differently and I began to understand and experience Greta as my helpmate. I began to understand that my relationship with Greta should mirror my relationship with God. The principles which I teach and preach had to be realized in my covenant with my wife.

Greta as my wife is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She is a part of me and as I realized this I had to let go of the hurts, disappointments and anger. Talking and sharing our heart became a foundational practice that gradually change the tone and tenor of our communication. We started communicating, one of us spoke and the other listened, understood and responded. This created a safe environment wherein both of us knew we could speak our heart.

This, challenged me to go within and learn how to communicate with myself and open up my heart to myself and then I began to share the discoveries of my heart with Greta. Yes, I began to trust my heart to my wife. I gained the understanding that I need to conduct myself in a manner that allowed Greta to share her heart with me and vice versa. We are equal souls existing and interacting as ONE and we must both build and share trust among each other.

This takes Faith, Belief, Trust and Love. For me, my knowledge that Greta loves God helps me to place Faith, Belief, Trust and Love in her and my marriage. Her spirituality compliments mine and allows us to connect on a deeper level and higher plane.
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Well, there you have it….short and sweet. In other words, take responsibility for your happiness and go after your bliss. You deserve it.

Take care and have a week filled with love. May God continue to bless you as you co-create the marriage and life of your dreams!

All in Happiness,

Sensuous Sexy Greta™ & Sexy Gary A.™

"Copyright 2008 Sensuous Sexy Greta™. All Rights reserved"