Pleasure is Your Birthright!©

Hello Sensuous Women and Men!!!

Things have been popping since I last talked to you. I can barely keep up. Opportunities to take Sensuous Seminars, L.L.C. to the next level are coming at us left and right. Thank you to those who continue to encourage us and see the need for our services to be shared with the world.

I completed my 2nd interview with Allana Pratt on Friday, October 2nd and I can say that it is hot! Allana was intent on talking about Pleasure being our birthright, so I gave her a few pointers in creating in marriage that is Sensuous, Sexy, Powerful and Whole. You can listen to this discussion at:

http://www.sexysoulfulandrich.com/10wk110/

For starters, we talked about the five (5) emotional needs of a husband and wife based on Dr. William Harley’s book, HIS NEEDS/HER NEEDS. Just in case you are not aware, they are as follows:

Women top (5) Emotional Needs:
Affection
Conversation
Honesty and openness
Financial support
Family commitment

Men (5) Emotional Needs:
Sexual fulfillment
Recreational companionship
An attractive spouse
Domestic Support
Admiration

One of the things we discussed was how the sexual connection is an emotional need for a husband and how this is comparable to the need for affection for a wife. I know what you are thinking…. I was somewhat confused and skeptical about this emotional need when I first heard it. However, I can say without a shadow of a doubt, the more you connect with your husband, the more closer you will become and the communication barriers that are between you will come down. Also, if I can be bold, if you are using this connection to manipulate your husband or connecting when you do not feel like it, you are selling yourself short. Your body is too sacred to be used this way. Do not disrespect yourself and your marriage this way…you will be left feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. As a Sensuous Woman, you deserve to be happy!

The bottom line…sex is an emotional need for your husband and an emotional need for a wife. We both want this connection…it just depend on how it is approached. The way a husband and wife view sex and its place in marriage need to be changed.

Speaking from a Tantric perspective, a husband and wife must be able to acknowledge the sacredness of sex and come to the understanding that the sexual connection is a spiritual connection that has the power to transform your love for each other. This simply means making space for your lover and helpmate to be them-selves and not trying to change them or make them into something that they are not. I am a firm believer that you cannot put a round peg in a square hole. It will not fit!

Sometimes in marriage, we hold ourselves hostage because we want our husband or wife to perform a certain way and if they do not behave the way that we want, we punish them by withholding our love on in this case, our sex.

The other thing that I thought was interesting was Allana’s discussion on the wife’s right to be sexually fulfilled. So many times we tolerate the sexual connection with our husband and over time may look at this connection as a chore. After all, we are all busy women and by the time we get to this love connection with our husband, we are all dead tired. In this instance, sex becomes a wifely duty, an obligation.

Believe me, I can relate. I felt that way for years! The sexual connection with my husband was on the bottom of my “to do” list. It was not a priority. However, the truth of the matter is that your husband cannot achieve sexual fulfillment unless you are sexually fulfilled. A wife does her husband no favors by sacrificing her body to his sexual advances. He can only feel sexually satisfied only when she joins him in the experience of lovemaking.

As women, we are often trained to believe that pleasure is bad. If we had thoughts of enjoying the sexual connection, then we were somehow labeled as a slut, whore or one that was promiscuous. The enjoyment of sex was denied to us. The other way that we have been trained is the way God interacts in our sexual connection with our husband. We have made the expression of love between a husband and wife a sinful, nasty and dirty act. This attitude keeps us from feeling loved, wanted and desired.

In Tantra, the body temple is to be taken care of, nurtured, respected and loved. As a husband and wife, we are to care for each other and this includes fulfilling and satisfying each other’s emotional needs. To receive pleasure, you have to be receptive to it. The shame and guilt that we carry within has to be released. A husband and wife must be willing to educate themselves on their body and communicate to each other what makes them feel good. This takes practice and it takes work.

In marriage, you are to learn from each other. It is your responsibility to share with your lover and helpmate what brings you pleasure and what makes you feel good. Without this discussion, you will never be fulfilled. This involves being open, honest and vulnerable without the fear of hurting each other’s feelings and injuring the other’s self esteem. The worst thing that we can do is give our husband or wife the impression that they are good lovers when they are not. This not only hurts us, it hurts our marriage and our need to be happy.

This week, share with your lover and helpmate what makes you feel good. Listen with a heart that is open to learning and receiving. Give them your undivided attention as they seek to share how you can make them feel loved, wanted and desired. Be understanding and compassionate to their needs.

The best way to start this conversation is “Honey, I want to talk to you about the way we make love. I like what we are doing so far, but I feel like there is something missing. I want to please you and I want to be pleased, can I share with you what makes me feel good?” This can be awkward at first. Move forward anyway. No one wants to believe that they are an inadequate lover. The key is to listen without judgment and respond in love.

Pleasure is your Birthright! You deserve to have a marriage that is sexually fulfilling and satisfying. Most of all, you deserve to be loved!!!

Take care and may God bless you as you co-create the marriage and life of your dreams!

With love and gratitude,

Sensuous Sexy Greta™

NOTE: Complementary article and video to this blog is at http://www.momlogic.com/2008/09/sexless_marriage_survey.php

Question of the Week: "What is a wife responsibility in creating pleasure with her husband?"

"Copyright 2008 Sensuous Sexy Greta™. All Rights reserved"